As you casually trickle your hand up and down
my back, you ask, “How did you find Jesus?”
And it is one of those moments in which
I feel guilty for not having an answer formed
ready-made to evangelize one such as you. But I think
of apple juice and graham crackers served
in tiny Dixie cups and homey napkins
down in the church basement. In front of me
a leaflet, telling a story that will save my soul
when I am dead, but for now my biggest question
is what color to make Jesus’s robe. Crayola gives
so many options. Christ’s words in red.
And on the wall, a chart with the doxology
and the Lord’s Prayer. Next year
I will learn those. For now I am told
Jesus welcomes children, so I brush the crumbs
from the table and almost smile back at Jesus,
who is beaming up at me from behind a cloud of cartoon beard.
Perhaps you think I’ve fallen asleep,
never imagining how happily I am dreaming
of those early communions of
graham crackers and apple juice.
-Elizabeth Eshelman
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"under a juniper-tree the bones sang, scattered and shining" -t.s. eliot
1 comment:
This is fantastic. I loved it the first time I read it and I was truly eager to read it a couple more times. Here's my take on it:
I found the first and third stanzas to be a sort of introduction and conclusion--almost in a formal way. This isn't bad, but I had a little misunderstanding as to who, if that's even important, this person is talking to. If it is important, and you are trying to be subtle, maybe a little clarity would help. At first, it seems like you are referring to a lover, because he (or she) is trickling their hand up and down your back--a sensuous motion. (The expression of guilt is great, by the way, as is the break). However, my issue comes in on the third stanza. It puts that initial idea of mine into question: Who is it? It would seem odd to be the lover, since it sounds more like she's speaking to Jesus/God, or even a heavily religious person (priest, pastor, etc.) Other than that, I absolutely adore how you end it with an extremely warm reflection of those things that children seem to love more than actually learning about God--as you seem to emphasize in the poem.
As for the body, the "homey" picture you paint is excellent. Then you rush in with that leaflet business and that's fantastic. Some might say it's too serious a leap, but I like it; this is especially because you cut in before the sentence is even over about how important coloring Jesus is. The red, I'm assuming is in reference to blood--a sign that the child has already grasped some of the gravity of Jesus's death and religion. The use of the word doxology is a wonderful contrast with the feeling of the rest of the poem, rather than just saying hymns or what not. The cartoon beard bit makes me think that children idealize religion because of what they're told (Jesus accepts children, too). It's literally and figuratively a beard, because the child has yet to really grasp the idea, but as your conclusion implies, it was merely the foundation of a greater faith.
So, not much actual critiquing, more or less just my stabs at what I think certain things mean and what I think are your strongest points. Really, I think it sounds virtually flawless in this state.
- Bob
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